Snow and Sunshine

Week 1 = Complete
Week 1 = Simply Beautiful
Week 1 = Entirely Exhausting

That pretty much encompasses the first 8 days of being at the Grand Canyon. And I'm getting the feeling that most weeks will be like this--chocked to the brim of difficult moments but so insanely beautiful at the same time.

For instance.. this week was spent in training, cooking dinners, exploring the area, getting to know my team, meeting co-workers, being exhausted from work, walking through the woods, laughing until my stomach hurt, losing at Nertz, playing in the snow, bouldering the side of the canyon (well, sorta) and getting lost.

That last one.. funny, right?

Looking back, it kinda is. I would be the person to get lost for an hour and a half by myself. Thinking about it, this is the perfect moment for the Lord to teach me something. At first I thought He was expanding on something He pushed me with from last summer--my favorite.. vulnerability. Now, I'm not so sure if I would call getting lost a lesson in vulnerability. Maybe, but that doesn't exactly sit right. This go-around seems more like a lesson in humility, the breaking of pride within me.

Wandering around the woods, alone, on trails that you literally have never walked before, while the sun is setting.. is terrifying. Utterly and completely terrifying. And this is exactly where I found myself Friday night. To say the cause of my terror.. these next few sentences.. for the public to know is comparable to smashing pounds of salt into a deep, wide, fresh gash. I.. was a complete fool Friday night. From the very start I headed in the wrong direction. I refused to take the bus when I wound up at the bus stop. I refused to call the one number that I had to ask for help. I refused to knock on someone's door for help. I passed the Pastor's house and refused to knock on his door. I was an arrogant fool.

You know what the underlying problem with all this is? I so desperately wanted to prove that I didn't need anybody; that I didn't need help. Looking back, I decided that I didn't even need God's help.. even when I asked for it.. over, and over, and over again. What kind of idiot does that?! This one. That was surely a moment where I understood His grace a little better, and I praise Him over, and over, and over again for His grace in that moment despite my prideful stubbornness.

Through getting lost, the Lord told me, or reminded me, that I can't do this all by myself. I need Him. I need my brothers and sisters. Being that one person on this team that never needs help, will not help my team or the ministry here in the canyon. We've been told multiple times that this place will suck the life out of you. I already feel hints of it, and I will need help to fight it.

We're starting Job in Bible study on Sunday mornings. The crazy thing about yesterday morning was that God brought more clarity to sophomore year, that one year where I failed out of engineering because my pride was wrapped up in becoming something. But that's another story.

Welp. Here I am again.. the pride is showing itself in a different way, but pride is pride.

Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before the fall. Proverbs 16:18
One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor. Proverbs 29:23


I keep thanking Him that I learned this at the beginning of the summer; that He allowed me to see where I am falling short so that He can change it.. fix it.. redeem me.

One more verse comes to mind when I think about this situation..

Thus says the Lord: "The people who survived the sword found grace in the wilderness; when Israel sought for rest, the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you." Jeremiah 31:2-3




Keep praying for the team here. That we would be finding our rest in the Lord every day and the life isn't sucked out of us. Pray for Lindsay, she's the last member to arrive and she's coming tomorrow! Whoop!! Pray that she transitions quickly into our group and that it is not hard for her. Pray for our co-workers and the conversations we'll have with them. Pray for the people that we meet on the rim, and the conversations we'll have. Pray for the people that come into our home, that they will feel welcome and notice that we're different.

Ministry here is what it ought to be always.. living life to bring glory to God. Pray that we, and you, would take hold of that and simply dive into each given day to joyfully live for the Lord.

Thank you for the support. I couldn't do this without y'all!

Love,
Jo