It's been a while.
I would blame the lapse of time on not much happening, but that's pretty far from the truth. A lot has happened.. in preparation for The GC, in school, in friendships.. but thank the Lord that He is constant.
Always. Unrelenting.
Always. Steadfast.
Always. Faithful.
Praise be to God that He is continually and completely these things (and so SO much more!) when I am very much not these things. Or the world spinning around me is not this way.
Therefore..
Let's catch up as old friends do. Okay?Okay
Remember how excited I was about driving out to GCNP by myself? Stoked isn't anywhere close enough to describe my excitement. The challenge of staying awake, spending so much time alone, and solo-ing through states.. they collectively stirred rolling hills of curiosity within me. Then curiosity translated into a chance to prove my independence. Attaining independence is something I have been trying to do for a very long time. Ask my parents; I'm sure they have oodles of stories. And As silly as it now sounds.. I imagined one of those coming of age moments pictured in movies. Driving into GCNP would be the moment to forever signify that I had come of age.. that I could in fact take care of myself, solely by myself.. that independence was mine. Then last Thurday night I heard a soft, gentle, but indecipherable whisper.
Late, late, late into the night I checked my email which contained a little note from the GoNow office. There was a mix up with dates and if I still chose to drive I'd have to be there on the 13th, not the 15th. As I laid in bed starring into the dark blurriness, I spent the last minutes before I fell asleep crunching time--calculating the hours I had between the end of the semester and May 13, 2011 at 12:00PM. I came to a conclusion.. enough time existed..
..if I wanted to shoot up ounces and ounces of caffeine to stay awake for 48 hours.
(which would be a fairly interesting experiment)
After talking with my parents on Friday morning, the soft, gentle whisper from the night before became a firm and audible "Not yet." Apparently, the middle of May 2011 is not the time for me to prove my independence.. if there really is ever a time to prove that. In fact, at the very moment that God, through His delicious grace, revealed my most dire need in life would be to trust Jesus with my very soul, and I, by His grace alone, put all of my trust in Him.. that was the moment I gave up all independence I had or could ever have. I am fully and inseparably dependent on the Lord Jesus. All in all.. I am now flying to Phoenix on the morning of the 14th. Once the dust of the decision had settled, waves of peace began to wash away pressure after pressure after pressure.
Unknowingly, I was pretty freaked out by trying to figure out where I would stay in New Mexico, getting lost, or breaking down on the side of the road with a minimalist's knowledge of Buick Centuries. The nervousness didn't come from these pieces individually, but that they built upon taking finals and saying goodbye to dear friends in College Station before several graduate. Also, there is that one part about having a job this summer and something about being responsible. Showing up past expected arrival would not be the ideal way to start the summer.
The one thing that I have been reminded of the past few weeks is that the Lord knows exactly what we need when we need it. That need is not what we want or what we think we need. It's what we need.
I thought I needed to drive to AZ.
I thought I needed to prove something to.. the world.
The Lord knows that I needed the pressure to alleviate.
The Lord knows that someone will be sent with the extra money raised.
That's where this story immediately becomes beautiful. The Lord has been an abundant provider with raising financial support. As of April 23, I have $500+ in my GoNow account and $100+ from selling bracelets. I can't believe it, really I can't. Raising support ALWAYS amazes me. I love seeing the Lord use the body in this way. And if He's at so much work for what we can see... how much more is He doing that we can't see?! Love it!
Talking your ear off would be an easy thing to do. But, I'll save some stories for later. Lastly, here are some ways to be praying..
Praise God for His faithfulness in providing the way to the Grand Canyon. Praise Him for being the Author of salvation.
The lost. Always pray for the salvation of people at the GC. Those who are there now and those my team is meeting.
The missionaries there. They receive teams who come and go, but they are there all the time. Pray strength and encouragement over them. Pray for guidance in their ministry.
My team. In John 17, Jesus is praying to the Father and He asks that we, His followers, would be one just as He and the Father are one. That's some crazy kind of powerful unity right there. Pray for unity among us.
As my good friend, Jason, and Paul the Apostle would say..
Grace & Peace
And with much sisterly affection,
Joanna
